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HOUSMAIL HM125
25
April 2006 I AM COMFORTED My wife
is dying. The mother of my six wonderful daughters is dying. God is taking back
the greatest gift He ever gave me. Under His guidance we met and fell in love
56 years ago, when we were both only 17. We married at 21. She has been my wife,
faithful companion, best friend, and unfailing help for the last 52 years. For
all of that time we have been totally dependent on each other. Now, it is coming
to an end. In a few weeks, or at the most, in a few months, she will be gone. People
have asked me how I feel, and how I am coping with the emotions of this time.
A few understand and are truly supportive. Others seem to expect that I should
be some sort of emotional mess. And of course there have been a few “Job's Comforters”
who seem to want to load me with a whole lot of psychological baggage which they
think are “normal” reactions for the grieving. For all of you, this is the GOOD
NEWS. Praise
God! I have discovered something wonderful! I am NOT destroyed. Instead, I
am comforted. Please
don't misunderstand me! I am not without feelings. I do have emotions – but they
are NOT uncontrollable! They do not overwhelm me. It has not been easy, but I
have been in Gethsemane with Jesus where I have learned new things about the fruit
of the Holy Spirit called “self-control”. He has taught me how to choose nothing
less than ALL the will of God, and to “drink the cup”. Gethsemane used to be just
another Gospel story. Now it is an experience which draws me closer to God. If
we truly BELIEVE, we cannot be defeated or destroyed by emotions which others
find hard to deal with. Instead there is victory! It is a promise from God for
those who are led by His Spirit. It seems
appropriate to tell you all something about the wonderful promises of God for
His children at times like this. I am experiencing them in ways which I would
never have thought possible when I was a lot younger. God's children all have
to learn this as part of our growth to Christian maturity. It is part of the grace
we have received! In Ezekiel 24:15-18 there is a brief story
about the death of Ezekiel's wife. One night God told Ezekiel that his wife was
going to die suddenly, and soon, and that when it happened he was not to mourn
or even weep. She died the next night. The following morning, with his wife dead
only a few hours, Ezekiel did as he was commanded and preached to the people again
- without tears or mourning. I am
so glad that I am not Ezekiel! I don't think I could do that. Could you? I confess
freely that I have shed many tears already. And I expect to shed more. I will
miss her terribly. I am going to be VERY lonely. But I will not be alone!
God will be with me. He will never leave nor forsake me. (Hebrews 13:5) God
is with me now as I walk through the “valley of the shadow” with Doreen. (Psalm 23:4) He will continue to be with me when it happens. He comforts
me. That is His promise - and that is what I experience, day by day, hour
by hour. I do not sorrow as others do. I am comforted by His continual presence
with me. I am comforted by His promise that NOTHING can separate myself and Doreen
from His love. I am comforted by His promise that ALL THINGS work together for
good to those who love Him. I am sustained by all of that as I watch my wife dying.
Of course it isn't always easy. But it is NEVER too hard! I cannot help her by
looking for answers which fight against the will of God. I am giving her the very
best I can offer by entrusting her completely to God's continuing care. Her life
is completely in God's hands. I will not attempt to interfere with that. If there
was anything at all better that she needed He would give it. But it is clear that
this is the way He has chosen for her to walk, and I am left believing that there
is nothing better possible for her now than to be in God's hands in exactly the
situation we are facing. I am
told that many people get angry at times like this – even angry with God! Am I
angry with God? NEVER! How could I ever be angry with the God who loves me, and
my wife, enough to give His Son for us? That gift is the ultimate proof that He
will give us EVERYTHING else we need, and that He will get things exactly right.
NOTHING – not even this terminal sickness – can ever separate us from His love.
I believe it - and I am comforted. (Romans 8:28-39) I am
told that many people become emotionally distraught at times like this. Am I an
emotional mess? By the grace of God NEVER! Yes, of course there are emotions,
but for those who trust in God they can never become overwhelming. There is victory
– NOT defeat! When my mind is stayed on God, He keeps me in perfect peace. I am
comforted. (Isaiah 26:3) Finally,
I believe in the Resurrection! I will see her again! And when I do she will have
her perfect immortal resurrection body, delivered at last from this suffering
which is the final token of her present mortality. I am greatly comforted by
that. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18) Allon |